A few observations...

We have more or less settled down in S'pore, though it has been increasingly difficult for Urvi. When we first came here, there was the excitement of seeing a new place, but now, it has finally sunk in. This is where we are staying. And we are not going back to France.Given that she was uprooted from 'home' and brought to the other side of the globe, forced to blend into a culture that is vastly different from what she had experienced thus far, I would say, she has handled it really well. Though occasionally there are outbursts and outpourings of, “I don't want to stay here anymore. I want to go back to France!"

While evaluating a place from a distance, usually the assessment depends on a few abstract features that seem to convey the essence of the place. One's assessment while actually living there can be quite different . Before we came to S’pore, I had thought this would be an ideal place for us to settle down. It was close to home, had excellent infrastructure and facilities, lots of Indians, great schools, etc. etc. Now, up close, the details of this place don’t make it as attractive any more…

For example, it is true that S’pore has many good international schools, but they usually are priced prohibitively and waiting times could extend to several years. It is said that if you want your kid to go to the United World College, one of the most sought after schools for expats here, you’d better register in the school as soon as you have a name for your child, never mind if the baby has not even been conceived yet!! Expats with short time horizons, therefore, do not have too many options. We put Urvi in an Indian Intl school, which continues to be a constant source of stress and disappointment, for purely non-academic reasons. However, the good news is that she has made some very good friends at school.

In our several years away from home, we have noticed that Indians mostly tend to stick with their own kind. I guess this is true of all ethnicities. Everywhere we have been to so far, I have encouraged Urvi to be friends with other Indian kids, and honestly, in this regard, I thought S'pore would be easy. At least, we will meet more Indians, at least we will stay close to our culture...

Again, up close, my recent trips to the condo playground, has been in an eye-opener of sorts. One gets to hear 8/9/10 year old (Indian) boys using expletives freely, sadistically bullying younger kids, and much worse. Urvi approached a girl, whose mother-tongue is Bengali, and spoke to her in the same. She was replied with 'If you want to be my friend, speak to me in English'. Urvi chose not to be her friend.

I find it disconcerting to see the holier than thou attitudes of many Indian parents who readily claim the high moral ground when it comes to ‘instilling’ their children with the Indian ethos. Are these the high moral values we Indians are so fiercely protective about? Values do not come with genes or nationalities. It comes from responsible parenting which involves explaining right from wrong. Honestly, I have seen far more responsible parenting in the west, where kids are not allowed to walk all over their parents, and bad behaviour almost never goes ignored. In the past, I have never had to tell Urvi, 'Don't mix with those kids'. Yet sadly, here, within a large Indian community, I find myself being constantly worried about the influences she brings home from the playground. While on one hand, its making her see reality the way it is (after all its all a part of growing up), one can't help but feel a tinge of sadness at the loss of innocence.

On a more positive note, Urvi has started taking violin lessons and she has started painting again, after a long time. I hope to be able to post some soon. And we visited the Night Safari ...all that and more coming up very soon...